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Figure 1: Wait patiently at the closest cafe spotted

Figure 1: Wait patiently at the closest cafe spotted

It is not supposed to hail in summer. Just like it is not supposed to be freezing in summer. But you know Melbourne, and anything is possible in Melbourne.

So in the likelihood that it will hail in the CBD for the 4th time this summer, here’s some advice that might save your head from bruising.

1. Always, always, ALWAYS have an umbrella with you. See How to deal with rain in Melbourne CBD

2. Wait it out.

A hood will not save you, neither will a fancy scarf. Canopies are not ideal as hail-permitting weather tends to be nearly freezing. The best way is to enter any random building you happen to be close to, no matter what kind of a building it is. Don’t worry, the people inside will understand, and so will the waiters, receptionists, workers, bosses and owners. It’s hail.

Of course it might be nice if you did buy, say, a cup of coffee if you happened to enter a cafe. Or start talking to fellow stranded people. The easiest conversation starter is how bad Melbourne weather is. It makes the hail seem to pass a lot quicker. Or longer.

Next on the list of topics to talk about is how bad public transport is. By the time you start discussing the government and politics, chances are, the hail has stopped and you can now safely move on.

In the case that it hails again and you find the same fellow stranded with you, you can start by bagging(1) the weather a second time and proceed straight on to cultural or political issues.

Enjoy and stay safe!

(1) Bagging = Aussie slang for criticizing